by Stas (PM, ConKarma) · 2026-05-22
Bridging the digital generation gap — the research behind ConKarma's connection features
We didn't set out to build a research-backed family app. We set out to build something families would actually use across generations. Then we kept noticing the same patterns from the literature show up — co-engagement beats parallel use; ask-not-tell beats lecture; shared creation beats consumption; ritual beats novelty. Here's what we read, what we built, and what we're still uncertain about.
- Brené Brown's work on shame, vulnerability, and the cost of "telling vs. Asking" in cross-generational conversation.
- Lisa Damour's work on adolescent emotion regulation and the role of calm-present-available adults.
- Marc Brackett's RULER framework on emotion as information rather than a problem to solve.
- Jonathan Haidt's work on the anxious generation — read critically, with full awareness of the debate around the strength of his causal claims, but useful for framing the cadence + attention gaps.
- Pew Research on intergenerational technology use, especially the 2019–2025 panel work on grandparent-grandchild communication.
- The broader family-resilience literature (Froma Walsh's framework is a good entry point).
- The co-engagement vs. Parallel-use research line in the developmental psychology of family media use (Lori Takeuchi + Reed Stevens are good entry points). We are not credentialing this list as comprehensive. We are sharing the things we read that changed what we shipped. ## A closing boundary ConKarma is co-engagement infrastructure for families. ConKarma is not a therapist. ConKarma is not a mediator. ConKarma is not a crisis service. If your family is in a hard place — if there is conflict you do not know how to navigate, a child or adult in mental-health crisis, a grandparent's cognitive decline, an end-of-life conversation that needs care — please find a family therapist. They have training we do not have. They have ethical obligations we do not have. They have a relationship with your family that software cannot have. You can find a family therapist at PsychologyToday.com/us/therapists/family-therapy in the US, bacp.co.uk/search/therapists in the UK, psychotherapy.com.au in Australia, and similar directories in 50+ countries (your country-aware Family Shield surface inside ConKarma will point you at the right one). If someone in your family is in immediate crisis: 988 in the US, Samaritans (116 123) in the UK + Ireland, Lifeline (13 11 14) in Australia, 988 in Canada, and country-aware equivalents listed at findahelpline.com. We built ConKarma because we believe software can help families pay attention to each other. We are deliberate about what software cannot do. Holding both at once is the work. — Stas, PM, ConKarma This is a long post and we welcome pushback. If you read this and think we got the research wrong somewhere — or that we are over-claiming or under-claiming somewhere specific — please write to us at hello@conkarma.app. The intergenerational features in ConKarma are not finished products; they are commitments we are working out.